Pessotto: “I still don’t know why I jumped out of the headquarters”

Many individuals from Calciopoli skilled it as a better or lesser tragedy, and Gianluca Pessotto virtually willingly paid the best value in the summertime of 2006, when he threw himself into the abyss from the headquarters of Juventus, and the previous defender additionally informed about this period for La Repubblica.

“My sickness was triggered by two simultaneous occasions: my retirement from soccer and the explosion of Calciopoli. I overidentified with the function I performed as a footballer. Every little thing I did was tied to this id. As quickly as these items disappeared, so did my confidence.

And due to Calciopoli, I felt as if all the pieces I had achieved on the pitch had been erased, forgotten. It was like being hit with out understanding the place it got here from. I felt like I used to be being chased as if I had been the worst prison. In each particular person I met, I noticed both the satan or the Virgin Mary. One night time, after shopping for a bottle of water, I assumed the return cash had been smeared with some substance to realize one thing about me. I anticipated that the police would need to arrest me in entrance of the shop.

I do not bear in mind something about June 27, 2006, the day of my bounce. Whole darkness. However I bear in mind the moments once I thought I used to be going to die. My final reminiscence is that I am within the membership’s headquarters and I need to go house, then I turned off the sunshine and wakened eight or 9 days later.

After I wakened, I noticed pipes and wires. I could not communicate due to the tracheotomy. I spent three months like a plant in a vase. I did not even know what occurred to me. Nobody was allowed to inform the reality. The TV was at all times off, and there have been no newspapers. I assumed perhaps I would been in a automobile accident…or carried out one thing horrible. Then someday a physician lastly informed me that I had jumped out of the mansion and that I had carried out it myself. After listening to this, I did not eat for 2 days. Whole disaster.

Even right now, I am unable to clarify why I selected the headquarters of Juventus. Possibly I felt secure there one way or the other.

The ache in me earlier than the bounce occurred, nevertheless, I bear in mind completely. Horrible darkness, with out hope. The deepest loneliness possible.

I’ve had a number of surgical procedures. I began speaking once more on July 16. On September 30, 2006, I began strolling once more whereas docs, nurses, and kinfolk applauded me like a stadium crowd.

Paolo Montero stayed by my bedside for 2 weeks after the accident. After I hugged her later, it felt like I used to be hugging everybody who stayed by my facet.

My life since then works by the love of others. Not simply my household, however strangers who say they’re glad I am alive.

Now I really feel like an astronaut who has returned from a terrifying journey. I’m completely different, I’ve modified. I am in remedy, I am engaged on myself, and I am not ashamed of it.

The actual enemy is loneliness. And life is a novel present. I acquired it twice.”